So it has been decided that I have to remain in the hospital until Addison arrives. Chris and I had some very hard decisions to make last night. Our doctor had come by to give us some options. The main problem we were having, was deciding whether to go home or not. See it's a problem when the doctors are saying yo can go home, but the best place would probably be here. So then it becomes my decision, which I hate because I really want to be home. Well there was an option given to us that would help decide. Basically the doctors were suggesting we do a "CST" test on little Addi. This test is what they like to call the contraction stress test. It is when they put some pitocin in you to induce labor and allow for contractions to come on. Once you start having these contractions they want to see how much it stresses the baby, and if the heart rate drops during. Also the other main reason is to see how crappy my placenta really is for her. Now for a brief moment I thought about doing it, mainly because I knew it would make my decision easier about going home or not. Then I came back down to earth and realized how selfish that would be of me. Why would I want to stress my 2lb baby girl, that mind you may not come out of the stress when the test is over. Well I decided I didn't want to stress her, obviously she has enough of that already.
So now I just have to take a reality check and realize that I am going to be here until she is born. It could be 2 days right now, or it could be a weeks worth. It's all up to Addi how long she wants to hang in there for us. To be honest I am glad I stayed now. It was just this morning that she decided to have drops in her heart rate. I guess everything happens for a reason right, because if I would have gone home they wouldn't have caught that. At this point Chris and I are just trying to stay positive with the whole situation, and keep our other baby content at home. We are just looking at the long term, and can't wait to have our little girl home finally. She is a fighter just like her brother was. We may make our babies small, but we make them strong. So until Addi's next latest update wish us luck!! We are just still praying for our baby girl to get here safe and as healthy as possible! To be continued.......
